Randy Pauschs last lecture…

Kathleen your email has never more appropriate – you are completely sychronistic.

Week 1 of being back on medication and dealing with the fallout … still not as positive I’d like, thanks Scott for pointing out me how negative I’ve been/am.. 

So getting back to be inspired about what I dream is this last lecture of Randy’s its 76 minutes long. 


Relatively a wink in the eye of time so to speak. Enjoy!


(the whole thing is really good… but the juice the bit to chew is at 1:09:49 – but if you had watched the previous 1:08 the you’d probably won’t ‘appreciate it’.

irony is still there to reduce CF in more constructive ways…


The Club
74A East 4th St. NY, NY 10003
April 18 – 27, 2008
Friday & Saturday 10:00pm
Sunday 5:30pm

Tickets $15
purchase tickets online


Inkfish Presents the premere of ‘The Brain’

The piece is conceived and written by Michael Kelly and Alissa Mello, directed by Alissa Mello. It is designed by Michael Kelly. Music, composed and performed by Joemca, will be an audio soundscape using live and recorded found sound, original composition and sampling.

 Here are the Reviews:




 It has been priviledge and a pleasure to work with these folks again!!!

Its only up two weeks before it is put back to bed again.

Come see it before it goes to sleep!


Favorite excerpt from 
Einstein Fuller Manifesto used in the script
In the tragic situation which confronts humanity, we feel that scientists should assemble in conference to appraise the perils that have arisen as a result of the development of weapons of mass destruction,
We are speaking not as members of this or that nation, continent, or creed, but as human beings
Almost everybody who is politically conscious has strong feelings about one or more of these issues; but we want you, if you can, to set aside such feelings and consider yourselves only as members of a biological species which has had a remarkable history, and whose disappearance none of us can desire.
We have to learn to think in a new way. We have to learn to ask ourselves, not what steps can be taken to give military victory to whatever group we prefer,(BUT) what steps can be taken to prevent a military contest of which the issue must be disastrous to all parties?
The general public, and even many men in positions of authority, have not realized what would be involved in a war with nuclear bombs. The general public still thinks in terms of the obliteration of cities

Here, then, is the problem which we present to you, stark and dreadful and inescapable: Shall we put an end to the human race; or shall mankind renounce war? People will not face this alternative because it is so difficult to abolish war. 


The abolition of war will demand distasteful limitations of national sovereignty. But what perhaps impedes understanding of the situation more than anything else is that the term “mankind” feels vague and abstract. People scarcely realize in imagination that the danger is to themselves and their children and their grandchildren, and not only to a dimly apprehended humanity. They can scarcely bring themselves to grasp that they, individually, and those whom they love are in imminent danger of perishing agonizingly. And so they hope that perhaps war may be allowed to continue provided modern weapons are prohibited.

This hope is illusory. Whatever agreements if one side manufactured the bombs and the other did not, the side that manufactured them would inevitably be victorious.
Although an agreement to renounce nuclear weapons as part of a general reduction of armaments would not afford an ultimate solution, it would serve certain important purposes. First, any agreement between East and West is to the good in so far as it tends to diminish tension. Second, the abolition of thermo-nuclear weapons, if each side believed that the other had carried it out sincerely, would lessen the fear of a sudden attack in the style of Pearl Harbour, which at present keeps both sides in a state of nervous apprehension. We should, therefore, welcome such an agreement though only as a first step.
Most of us are not neutral in feeling, but, as human beings, we have to remember that, if the issues between East and West are to be decided in any manner that can give any possible satisfaction to anybody, whether Communist or anti-Communist, whether Asian or European or American, whether White or Black, then these issues must not be decided by war. We should wish this to be understood, both in the East and in the West.
There lies before us, if we choose, continual progress in happiness, knowledge, and wisdom. Shall we, instead, choose death, because we cannot forget our quarrels? We appeal as human beings to human beings: Remember your humanity, and forget the rest. If you can do so, the way lies open to a new Paradise; if you cannot, there lies before you the risk of universal death.
We invite this Congress, and through it the scientists of the world and the general public, to subscribe to the following resolution:
“In view of the fact that in any future world war nuclear weapons will certainly be employed, and that such weapons threaten the continued existence of mankind, we urge the governments of the world to realize, and to acknowledge publicly, that their purpose cannot be furthered by a world war, and we urge them, consequently, to find peaceful means for the settlement of all matters of dispute between them.”

Sets – Nobel Peace Prize

For Inkfish Production’s: ‘The Brain’ Set made for live video as well as


Photo: Cast in “THE BRAIN”; An Inkfish Production; directed by Alissa Mello; puppet & set design by Michael Kelly; dress rehearsal photographed: Thursday, April 17, 2008; 5:00 PM at La MaMa Experimental Club, 74A East 4th Street, NYC; Photograph: © 2008 Richard Termine.
PHOTO CREDIT – Richard Termine

Food for thought…

“The poet Muriel Rukeyser said the universe is composed of stories, not of atoms. The physicist Werner Heisenberg declared that the universe is made of music, not of matter. And we believe that if you habitually expose yourself to toxic stories and music, you could wind up living in the wrong universe, where its impossible to become the gorgeous genius you were born to be. That’s why we implore you to nourish yourself with delicious, nutritious tales and tunes that inspire you to exercise your willpower for your highest good.”

from susan hull.

The perfection of Samuel Beckett’s work and brilliant reminders of what is. I love this internal dialogue…. reminds me of a conversation I had ….. with myself.

Joe …
[Eyes open, resumption of intentness.]
Joe …
[Full intentness.]
Thought of everything? … Forgotten nothing?… You’re all right now, eh? … No one can see you now …. No one can get at you now …. Why don’t you put out that light? … There might be a louse watching you …. Why don’t you go to bed? … What’s wrong with that bed, Joe? … You changed it, didn’t you? … Made no difference? … Or is the heart already? … Crumbles when you lie down in the dark …. Dry rotten at last …. Eh Joe?

Camera move 1

The best’s to come, you said, that last time …. Hurrying me into my coat …. Last I was favoured with from you …. Say it you now, Joe, no one’ll hear you …. Come on, Joe, no one can say it like you, say it again now and listen to yourself …. The best’s to come …. You were right for once …. In the end.

Camera move 2

You know that penny farthing hell you call your mind …. That’s where you think this is coming from, don’t you? … That’s where you heard your father …. Isn’t that what you told me? … Started in on you one June night and went on for years…. On and off …. Behind the eyes …. That’s how you were able to throttle him in the end …. Mental thuggee you called it … One of your happiest fancies …. Mental thuggee …. Otherwise he’d be plaguing you yet …. Then your mother when her hour came …. ‘Look up, Joe, look up, we’re watching you’ …. Weaker and weaker till you laid her too …. Others …. All the others …. Such love he got …. God knows why …. Pitying love …. None to touch it …. And look at him now …. Throttling the dead in his head.

Camera move 3

Anyone living love you now, Joe? … Anyone living sorry for you now? … That slut that comes on Saturday, you pay her, don’t you? … Penny a hoist tuppence as long as you like … Watch yourself you don’t run short, Joe … Ever think of that? … Eh Joe? … What it’d be if you ran out of us …. Not another soul to still …. Sit there in his stinking old wrapper hearing himself …. That lifelong adorer …. Weaker and weaker till not a gasp left there either …. Is it that you want? … Well preserved for his age and the silence of the grave …. That old paradise you were always harping on …. No Joe …. Not for the likes of us.

Camera move 4

I was strong myself when I started …. In on you …. Wasn’t I, Joe? … Normal strength …. Like those summer evenings in the Green …. In the early days …. Of our idyll …. When we sat watching the ducks …. Holding hands exchanging vows …. How you admired my elocution! … Among other charms …. Voice like flint glass …. To borrow your expression …. Powerful grasp of language you had …. Flint glass …. You could have listened to it for ever …. And now this …. Squeezed down to this …. How much longer would you say? … Till the whisper …. You know …. When you can’t hear the words …. Just the odd one here and there …. That’s the worst …. Isn’t it, Joe? … Isn’t that what you told me …. Before we expire …. The odd word …. Straining to hear …. Why must you do that? … When you’re nearly home …. What matter then …. What we mean …. It should be the best …. Nearly home again …. Another stilled …. And it’s the worst …. Isn’t that what you said? … The whisper …. The odd word …. Straining to hear …. Brain tired squeezing …. It stops in the end …. You stop it in the end …. Imagine if you couldn’t …. Ever think of that? …. If it went on …. The whisper in your head …. Me whispering at you in your head …. Things you can’t catch …. On and off …. Till you join us …. Eh Joe?

Camera move 5

How’s your Lord these days? … Still worth having? … Still lapping it up? … The passion of our Joe …. Wait till He starts talking to you …. When you’re done with yourself …. All your dead dead …. Sitting there in your foul old wrapper …. Very fair health for a man of your years …. Just that lump in your bubo …. Silence of the grave without the maggots …. To crown your labours …. Till one night …. ‘Thou fool thy soul’ …. Put your thugs on that …. Eh Joe? … Ever think of that? … When He starts in on you …. When you’re done with yourself …. If you ever are.

Camera move 6

Yes, great love God knows why …. Even me …. But I found a better …. As I hope you heard …. Preferable in all respects …. Kinder …. Stronger …. More intelligent …. Better looking …. Cleaner …. Truthful …. Faithful …. Sane …. Yes …. I did all right.

Camera move 7

But there was one didn’t …. You know the one I mean, Joe …. The green one …. The narrow one …. Always pale …. The pale eyes …. Spirit made light …. To borrow your expression …. The way they opened after …. Unique …. Are you with me now? … Eh Joe? … There was love for you …. The best’s to come, you said …. Bundling her into her Avoca sack …. Her fingers fumbling with the big horn buttons …. Ticket in your pocket for the first morning flight …. You’ve had her, haven’t you? …. You’ve laid her? … Of course he has …. She went young …. No more old lip from her.

Camera move 8

Ever know what happened? … She didn’t say? … Just the announcement in the Independent …. ‘On Mary’s beads we plead her needs and in the Holy Mass’ …. Will I tell you? … Not interested? … Well I will just the same …. I think you should know …. That’s right, Joe, squeeze away …. Don’t lose heart now …. When you’re nearly home …. I’ll soon be gone …. The last of them …. Unless that poor old slut loves you …. Then yourself …. That old bonfire …. Years of that stink …. Then the silence …. A dollop of that …. To crown all …. Till His Nibs …. One dirty winter night …. ‘Mud thou art.’

Camera move 9

All right …. Warm summer night …. All sleeping …. Sitting on the edge of her bed in her lavender slip …. You know the one …. Ah she knew you, heavenly powers! … Faint lap of sea through open window …. Gets up in the end and slips out as she is …. Moon …. Stock …. Down the garden and under the viaduct …. Sees from the seaweed the tide is flowing …. Goes on down to the edge and lies down with her face in the wash …. Cut a long story short doesn’t work …. Gets up in the end sopping wet and back up to the house …. Gets out the Gillette …. The make you recommended for her body hair …. Back down the garden and under the viaduct …. Takes the blade from the holder and lies down at the edge on her side …. Cut another long story short doesn’t work either … You know how she always dreaded pain …. Tears a strip from the slip and ties it round the scratch …. Gets up in the end and back up to the house …. Slip clinging the way wet silk will …. This all new to you, Joe? … Eh Joe? … Gets the tablets and back down the garden and under the viaduct …. Takes a few on the way …. Unconscionable hour by now …. Moon going off the shore behind the hill …. Stands a bit looking at the beaten silver …. Then starts along the edge to a place further down near the Rock …. Imagine what in her mind to make her do that …. Imagine …. Trailing her feet in the water like a child …. Takes a few more on the way …. Will I go on, Joe? … Eh Joe? … Lies down in the end with her face a few feet from the tide …. Clawing at the shingle now …. Has it all worked out this time …. Finishes the tube …. There’s love for you …. Eh Joe? …. Scoops a little cup for her face in the stones …. The green one …. The narrow one …. Always pale …. The pale eyes …. The look they shed before …. The way they opened after …. Spirit made light …. Wasn’t that your description, Joe? …
[Voice drops to whisper, almost inaudible except words in italics.] All right …. You’ve had the best …. Now imagine …. Before she goes …. Face in the cup …. Lips on a stone …. Taking Joe with her …. Light gone …. ‘Joe Joe’ …. No sound …. To the stones …. Say it you now, no one’ll hear you …. Say ‘Joe’ it parts the lips … Imagine the hands …. The solitaire …. Against a stone …. Imagine the eyes …. Spiritlight …. Month of June …. What year of your Lord? …. Breasts in the stones …. And the hands …. Before they go …. Imagine the hands …. What are they at? … In the stones ….
[Image fades, voice as before.]
What are they fondling? … Till they go …. There’s love for you …. Isn’t it, Joe ? … Wasn’t it, Joe? … Eh Joe? … Wouldn’t you say? … Compared to us … Compared to Him …. Eh Joe?…
[Voice and image out. End.]

Sleep with the fishes

One night my good friend had a hyper realistic dream

She dreamt that was I was sailing an ocean in a small boat. I fell overboard by choice, without as much as life jacket or rope to find my way back.
She said I had drowned.

Perhaps it is true… Perhaps its not. Who knows it is just a dream.

This is an ode from Tiger Lillies that was so perfect. Enjoy!

 Some Reviews!

The production begins promisingly, recounting the events that lead to Medea and Jason’s first encounter. The flying golden ram that saves a young prince from death comes to life thanks to a small puppet that traverses the theatre space on a wire. After Jason receives the command to bring this beast’s enchanted fleece back to Greece, three white banners unfurl from the flies to the stage floor. On these we see projections of three women while we hear voiceovers as Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite concoct the plan whereby Medea will help Jason secure the famed Golden Fleece. This backstory fascinates, as does Skipitares’ use of small shadow puppets — if sometimes inexpertly operated — to present Jason’s trials.

Equally engaging is an entr’acte for the production’s second part. Here, three performers supporting torso-sized golden masks that resemble Greek women dance seductively to Tim Schellenbaum’s simultaneously funky and exotic score. This trio — Paloma Lansberry, Miriam Tabb, and Eva Lansberry — represents the gorgeous women of Corinth, the city to which Medea and Jason flee after she’s betrayed her father and country.
By Andy Propst Backstage

The Greek chorus is composed of three women wearing giant gold masks covering half their bodies, with their legs sticking out, which makes them look like bobble-head dolls –CARYN JAMES NYTimes.

The trick is which pair of legs are related and which pair are mine?

– aka golden bobble head – sacred sheela

Why CARYN is NOT Linked too much …. Is it because she think she is wiriting too much fluff? Or is she (can I say lazy? — too much TV…)


los amigos invisibles 

new friends….